Christmastime 2023

Dear Yuletide Yokels,

’Tis time once again to greet both our friends and all our acquaintances and to fill everyone in on life in Bedrock.

It used to be said that the most exciting thing that ever happens in Bedford is watching the ground crack during summer. But things have become much more lively of late as a utility company has begun installing new service lines to all the houses in the downtown area. This has necessitated their digging numerous holes throughout the neighborhood, and the locals have become quite enthralled with the process. Not only does the activity provide ample entertainment for the community (with the added benefit of giving Mrs. Simms the opportunity to sell vast quantities of her famous lemonade to the spectators), but it also has given rise to a lucrative booking agency as the locals place bets on how many bodies will be discovered before the work is completed.

As it turns out, resident historians recently have revealed that placid little Bedford has a notable history of being a hotbed of unsolved murders extending back decades. A dramatic reenactment of one such murder drew an unexpectedly large crowd to downtown Bedford in October, where Deputy Waxman suddenly found his hands full as he attempted to quell a near riot when someone suggested that the murder of Jake Williams’ great-great-aunt had been committed by Lawyer Stainberry’s great-great-grandfather after the unwed lass supposedly had been found to be with child by said gentleman — who, at the time, was running for county ethics commissioner. The suggestion being an affront to both families, a new murder was barely avoided thanks to Waxman’s swift action of calling everyone’s attention to the free beer down at Rusty’s Tavern.

Business seems to be returning to Bedford after the long Covid fiasco which saw the demise of a number of establishments. Of particular note has been the opening of many new restaurants in the community. But as seems wont to happen in our little burg, even this has caused something of a furor. Several of these new eateries have taken up residence in buildings formerly occupied by other dining facilities which did not survive the Covid lockdown, and this has led to some confusion by older residents. Old Harold Simms caused quite the stir on his first visit to our new Japanese restaurant awhile back. Anticipating a heart-stopping cholesterol-fest of deep-fried pork loin, mashed potatoes, and lard-laden apple pie, which would have been his fare at the former Parts o’ Pig Fine Dining and TV Repair that had seen a thriving business in the same building pre-Covid, Harold became apoplectic to find that he was proffered instead only a choice of miso soup and sushi. Refusing even to pay his bill, he angrily left the establishment stating that he could get better fare at Wallerton’s Bait & Tackle.

The Cratons have stayed clear of all these shenanigans as much as possible, however, and simply continue their efforts to survive life in the big city. They have found that this can be accomplished more readily by fleeing the country altogether, which they did in May as they embarked on another venture through Netherlands and Belgium. They found it exceptionally pleasant to be again in civilization, but old John did regret bringing home the plague as a souvenir. Fortunately it did not stay with him long after his return (even the virus didn’t want to live in Bedford), and he soon was hale and hearty again to enjoy the biggest highlight of the year.…

...Which was the wedding of youngest son Stephen to a wonderful young lady (and accomplished artist), Elisabeth Marsch. The wedding took place at St. Ignatius in Franklin, Tennessee, the near-Nashville town in which the two now reside. All are exceptionally pleased to welcome her as part of our dysfunctional family and to know that now at least one of us maintains some semblance of sanity.

Middle son Jonathan and his wife Annie continue their life outside of Bedford in Snohomish, Washington, and eldest son Ben and wife Nyssa still reside in Lafayette, Indiana. They all are continuing to thrive in their respective professions — or at least are surviving them, once one discounts the ubiquitous corporate-think that is the scourge of so many businesses these days.

As for the old folks, Debbie and John continue puttering along in Bedrock. Sadly, John lost his 99-year-old mother in September, but he is grateful for having had her with us for so long. (He’d begun thinking she had grown competitive in her elderliness and was trying to outdo her sister who passed away last year at age 102.) John still harangues music students in his studio, though far fewer than in days of yore, and occasionally scribbles a note now and again — he has always delighted in making noise. Debbie is enjoying retirement by staying busier than she was when she was practicing medicine, principally by volunteering at the local historical society, teaching Zumba classes, and writing (she published her first book in June and is now busily working on her second) — all this while trying to corral a muddled husband and a horde of neurotic cats.

As they wish one and all a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and Joyful New Year, they remind everyone that they’d love to hear from you all — before old John forgets who you (and he) are.

John Douglas & Debbie Craton, plus cats

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